ALL FOR PAWS Automatic Dog Ball Launcher

YOUR ARM HAS SERVED WITH HONOR. Let the machine take it from here.

For years, your throwing arm answered the call. Morning fetch, evening fetch, "just one more" fetch. It never once complained. Well, not out loud. Soldier, it's time to stand down.

Meet your replacement: the automatic ball launcher, built for small-to-medium recruits who think "one more throw" is a personality trait. Set the range to near, medium or far, load a 2-inch ball, and it fires on command while you finally take a seat. It's rechargeable and comes with three 2-inch tennis balls of standard-issue ammunition.

Regulations are strict: clean, dry All For Paws balls only, one at a time, so the slobbery one your dog has been hoarding is out. Fair warning, it makes a bang when it fires, and noise-sensitive pups may decide it's the enemy.

Your arm did its duty. Let it retire with dignity.